


Those eyes

by EllaMelody



Category: EXO (Band), Super Junior
Genre: Eventual Making Out, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Hint at Suho/Lay pairing, M/M, Mostly cute af, SMTown - Freeform, only a little angst though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-11
Updated: 2018-03-11
Packaged: 2019-03-30 00:03:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13938288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EllaMelody/pseuds/EllaMelody
Summary: Baekhyun is Yesung's special friend, the one with the glimmering eyes, and together they roam the nights, creating mischief and taking naps. Yesung can't believe his luck. But while at a concert in Japan, Baekhyun starts avoiding Yesung. Why?





	Those eyes

**Author's Note:**

> This story is inspired by their duets during SMTown in Japan, where they sang Harmonies In The End Of Summer. If you haven't watched any clips of it, look it up! It's available on Youtube and so, so pretty. This story was an attempt to capture the emotions they showed while singing together. It's obviously all fictional and I've taken some liberties with the duets. Still I hope you like it! ^_^
> 
> Edit: I noticed now that all my formatting was gone from this version. Where did my paragraphs go? So I fixed it, and some other errors along the way. Hope this makes it easier to read, because before it was just a big blotch of text (or "like porridge" as the Swedes would put it), too heavy to read. Now it's better. Sorry I noticed this only now, but better late than never...

Those eyes gleaming at him. They had always been there, always glittering brightly. It had been years since he first saw them. He remembered it well. Practice room, early morning, everyone tired but working hard. The door had opened and a group of trainees had shuffled in, shy and awkward in front of such impressive and famous sunbaes. But in those eyes had been a spark of something else, hidden behind the respect and courtesy that was expected. It lay there glimmering under the surface, but Yesung saw it. When he met those eyes, they winked happily and he knew that Baekhyun knew he had seen it.

After that came many practices together, many hours of coaching and even more hours of happily playing around in the dorms or backstage, or wherever they happened to be. Baekhyun was always up to some kind of mischief and Yesung was always easily persuaded to join him.

Many people had scoffed, and many had pointed out that Yesung as the hyung should be more mature and know better than to pull silly pranks like a child. Sometimes he thought they were right. His members had often told him that as long as he took his job seriously it was fine, but he still felt like being one of the older members should mean something. He should set an example for his dongsaengs.

But then Baekhyun was there, eyes glimmering with mischief and lips curving into a big smile, and Yesung lost it again. Running through the corridors together, laughing loudly, chasing each other or escaping from whoever it was they had angered, Yesung had never been so happy. And so it continued and sometimes Yesung felt like maybe it was worth it, like maybe these were the days he’d remember as his happiest.

 

He looked up into those eyes again. Baekhyun was standing over his bed, smiling at him, still being in his pajamas.

“Hyung”, he whispered. “You’re not asleep are you?”

Of course Yesung wasn’t asleep. He rarely was. Sleeping had always been difficult for him. But lying in bed resting was still nice, especially after a hectic day like this one. Also his members would bug him if he didn’t at least try to sleep. Sometimes he told them he had slept just to get them off his back. He’d gotten very good at pretending to sleep on planes, buses and sofas backstage. That way they wouldn’t give him a hard time if he accidentally woke them up during the night, shouting when his favorite team scored a goal or laughing when he was playing with Baekhyun.

Right now, he had been resting for quite some time already and was nowhere closer to sleeping. Being interrupted by Baekhyun wasn’t really a big deal. It happened all the time. Baekhyun knew his game far too well, but it was nice that he still always asked out of courtesy.

“I’m awake”, Yesung whispered. “What’s on your mind?”

“Hyung, want to see something funny?” Baekhyun’s eyes sparkled with glee. Yesung instantly sat up. “Follow me”, Baekhyun giggled quietly, and they both snuck out through the door.

Making poses and rolls as if he was in an action movie, Baekhyun made his way down the hallway, waving for Yesung to follow. Yesung giggled and played along. This kid was such a clown. A very charming clown. How would Yesung have survived these long and boring nights without him?

Making it to the room four doors down, Baekhyun stopped and swiped his keycard. The door beeped open and Baekhyun crawled in through the door. Yesung followed quietly. As they crawled over the floor in the pitch dark room, Yesung wonder whose room they were invading. That Baekhyun had somehow found a masterkey didn’t surprise him at all. That kid always had a trick up his sleeve.

As they got further into the room, Yesung’s eyes started adjusting to the light. He could see the outline of two beds. One of them seemed to be empty, while the other one clearly had people sleeping in it. As he snuck closer, he could see Lay and Suho with their arms around each another, sleeping soundly. They looked so sweet, cuddling close together. Baekhyun wasn’t going to disturb them was he? One glance into those eyes said he was.

Crawling up to the side of the bed, Baekhyun smiled widely as he pulled a phone from his pocket. He gave Yesung a quick look as if to warn him, before he held up the phone to Suho’s ear and pushed the screen. A quick “snap-snap-snap” sound was heard as if from a dozen cameras, making Suho jump up in the bed, yelping as he tried to cover himself with the sheets. Baekhyun was out the door laughing like a maniac before Suho had time to realize what was going on. Yesung wasn’t far behind. The last thing he saw as the door slammed behind him was Lay covering his ears in confusion as Suho bellowed Baekhyun’s name as loudly as he could manage.

Running as quietly as he could, he followed Baekhyun’s giggling back out of the corridor and into the elevator. As the doors closed behind them they looked at each other and sank to the floor laughing. Yesung’s heart was beating happily and the rush of the moment was filling him up.

When the time came to sneak their way back into their hotel rooms, Baekhyun insisted that he should walk Yesung back first. It was apparently common courtesy for a dongsaeng. Of course Yesung knew that was a complete lie, but as always he let Baekhyun have his way. He smiled to himself as Baekhyun entered his room and casually stepped out of his shoes, making himself at home in a matter of seconds. Baekhyun didn’t seem like he wanted to go back to his own room yet, and so Yesung figured he’d keep him company for a little while longer.

With a smile Baekhyun walked around the room, happily critiquing all the pictures on the walls. Then he went to sit on Yesung’s bed, beginning to flip through a magazine that Yesung had been reading earlier that night. Making himself comfortable, Baekhyun crawled up under the cover, laying down on his stomach for a better view. He kept talking about the articles he was reading and describing the pictures, as if just talking about anything was enough to keep him entertained. Yesung listened and answered, while playing a game on his computer.

After a while he actually started feeling tired, so he shut down the computer and went to lie down next to Baekhyun on the bed. He pulled a part of the cover over himself and laid his head down to rest, closing his eyes. Baekhyun was still reading and talking, seeming perfectly happy where he was, and having no intention to leave. Yesung didn’t mind. It was nice to hear his happy chitter-chatter in the background as he tried to process the day.

All of sudden, however, the chitter-chatter stopped. It was quiet for a few minutes before he heard Baekhyun’s voice close to his ear.

“Hyung, are you asleep?” he whispered, sounding a little concerned.

“No”, Yesung whispered back. “It’s okay, you can keep talking.”

“Oh, okay, for a second I thought I was alone”, and then the chitter-chatter started anew, except a bit more quietly.

That’s when Yesung realized Baekhyun needed him too, because for Baekhyun quiet meant being alone, and on certain nights that also meant being lonely. Yesung also realized that he’d do anything to keep Baekhyun from feeling that way. If he could he would always be there when Baekhyun asked him to. Because Baekhyun was that friend, the one with the glimmering eyes, and Yesung would do anything to make him happy; especially if it meant listening to his melodious voice whispering in the night.

After that night it became their thing and something they did most nights. Baekhyun would knock on his door and after whatever shenanigans he had planned for them, he would follow Yesung back to his room and soon he would be sleeping soundly in the bed, Yesung often sleeping right next to him.

 

Touring season kept going and soon they found themselves flying to Japan, where practice went on as usual. The big arena filled up with staff and twinkling lights as the idols crowded the stage and dressing rooms, taking turns to run through their songs. They were having a concert in the evening, and going through the different stages got boring quite fast. Soon Baekhyun had found a way to make it more fun by adding as many hearts to their choreographies as he possibly could. Seeing him do the waves to _Call Me Baby_ while signing a heart with his hands was amazing.

Soon everyone was laughing, and after a while one of the staff members actually had to come up on stage and tell him to stop. He was distracting the others from doing their job. Baekhyun bowed and apologized, but the look he exchanged with Chanyeol a second later told Yesung that he wasn’t really sorry at all. In the break he started a water fight with Sehun, and during lunch a food war with Chen. By the end of the day Suho was giving him stern looks telling him to behave.

Yesung and Baekhyun had a duet to practice. It was a pretty love song about the last days of a relationship, and it required some acting to get the emotion across. But after a day full of mischief, Baekhyun seemed to have a hard time finding the right mood. Yesung could see that he was struggling, even though he told the director he was only holding back to save his voice. Holding back couldn’t explain the awkward looks he was giving the people around him. When Baekhyun left in a hurry after practice, Yesung actually started feeling worried. Was Baekhyun really okay?

But going back to the hotel Yesung found him talking happily to one of the members and everything seems fine. They had a couple of hours to themselves to get some rest before they needed to shower and get ready for the concert. Yesung went to try and take a nap. He only managed to lie down on the bed however, before there was a knock on the door and Baekhyun was there trying to talk to him about something. It didn’t even seem to be that important, just some anecdote about some cousin of a friend who had done this or that. Yesung listened and laughed as he was supposed to and when the story had finished, he listened to another one and another one.

Finally he decided he couldn’t take it anymore, so he simply gave Baekhyun a hug and asked him if he wanted to take a nap together. At first Baekhyun seemed startled, his eyes open wide. Not because of the sudden skinship. They were both very comfortable with such things and often both hugged and held hands. Maybe it was the fact that he had been interrupted, and in a nice way told to stop talking. Maybe it was because Yesung had been the one to ask. Or maybe it was just him wondering since when Yesung preferred sleeping over doing something more fun. Either way the surprise made him stay quiet as Yesung pulled him into the room and onto the bed.

Lying down together with the cover over them, Yesung let out a happy sigh and stretched out his hand to poke Baekhyun’s face. This was something he loved doing, and most of his members hated it, but Baekhyun had always seemed to tolerate it as long as it didn’t tickle. As Yesung stroked Baekhyun’s cheeks, nose and chin with his finger, Baekhyun seemed to relax. He closed his eyes and soon Yesung could hear him breathing heavily, already asleep. Yesung smiled at his dongsaeng suddenly being so quiet and cute. He pulled Baekhyun close, wrapping his arms tightly around him. He could feel Baekhyun snuggle into his chest, and sighed happily. He closed his eyes and soon they were both sleeping.

 

The concert went along nicely. They were all professionals after all, and even when small accidents happened they were able to sort them out without anyone in the audience noticing. When the time for their duet came Yesung was confident they’d pull it off well. Stepping up on stage he sang his part with feeling, playing off the words in the lyrics. Soon he heard Baekhyun’s voice join him and they harmoniously continued the song.

Maybe Baekhyun’s voice was a little softer than usual, but apart from that Yesung didn’t notice much of a difference; not until they stepped towards each other on stage and Yesung could see Baekhyun’s face plainly for the first time. The eyes that usually glimmered with confidence and secrets now seemed hesitant and almost afraid. Maybe it was just the emotions of the song, Baekhyun’s attempt at sadness and heartbreak, but to Yesung it still seemed strange. He tried to remain stable in his gaze, searching for eye contact to reassure Baekhyun that everything was okay, but the more he tried the more Baekhyun would look away.

Yesung felt the awkwardness flowing between them when they faced each other for the last part, and Baekhyun finally had to look into his eyes. He could tell Baekhyun had entered a state of professionalism and was now going through the motions, somehow ignoring Yesung’s honest expression completely even though it was staring him in the face. Most of the time he kept his eyes closed, and even when he didn’t, that glimmer in his eyes was gone.

The song finally ended and Yesung gave Baekhyun a big smile. This seemed to break him out of whatever mood he was in and bring him back to his old self. As they jokingly hugged and waved at the audience, Yesung was sure no one could have noticed the strangeness that had just passed between them. Still it worried him. Why had Baekhyun been so distant? Was he okay?

The rest of the show went on as usual though and Baekhyun was all smiles and jokes, running around the stage with his members and friends. Yesung began to think it might have been only in his head, but then he noticed that Baekhyun was still avoiding him backstage. This was weird. One of the best parts of doing these joined shows was the chance to hang out and work with other people than you normally did. Usually it meant that both Chanyeol and Baekhyun would spend a lot of time with the Super Junior members, but when Chanyeol came around Baekhyun was nowhere to be seen.

Even stranger was that after the show, Baekhyun still didn’t talk to Yesung at all or anyone else for that matter. Instead he went straight to his room as soon as they got to the hotel. Yesung tried not to read too much into it, and figured Baekhyun would come around later when he got bored. After all he usually came knocking when people were already sleeping. So Yesung busied himself with showering, cleaning up, reading magazines, watching sports on the TV, playing games on the computer and even doing some vocal exercises. Still he couldn’t seem to settle down and take it easy. Waiting for that knock on the door had never been this nerve-wrecking before. What was taking so long?

Finally he couldn’t take it anymore. The suspense was killing him. And wasn’t it only fair that he got to visit Baekhyun for once? Leaving his room in pajamas and slippers, he shuffled closer to Baekhyun’s room and knocked the door. A few moments passed before Baekhyun opened the door, also in his pajamas. He looked at Yesung with a surprised face, and Yesung could swear that the anxiety was back in his eyes.

“Hyung”, he said quietly. “Why are you here?”

A strange question considering Baekhyun came to visit Yesung almost every evening for no apparent reason at all, but Yesung decided to put that thought aside and just answer.

“I was wondering what you were up to”, he said trying to sound cheerful and non-threatening. “I’m bored. Wanna hang out?”

“Now?” Baekhyun made it sound like the idea was absurd; like they didn’t usually hang out together this late, especially while on tour. Yesung raised his eyebrows as to say yes, and he could see Baekhyun’s mind working hard to find the right answer to the question.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea”, he finally said, his eyes suddenly darting back and forth as to avoid giving something away. “We have to get up early tomorrow and then there’s another concert in the evening. I think we should just rest, don’t you?”

“We can rest”, Yesung said softy. “If you want to we can rest together, like we did last time.”

Surely Baekhyun would never be able to say no to that kind of quiet company? There seemed to be nothing he hated more than being alone. But somehow Baekhyun’s face was telling Yesung he’d given the wrong answer, because before another word was spoken he already knew what Baekhyun was going to say. The panic in his eyes was all too clear.

“I think I’d rather sleep by myself tonight”, he said quickly. “Goodnight hyung.”

The door closed so fast that Yesung didn’t have time to argue. Standing there looking at where Baekhyun’s eyes had been a second ago, Yesung felt confusion take over his thoughts. What was going on? Since when did Baekhyun want to sleep alone? And why would he panic so much about it?

For a second Yesung contemplated knocking again, but then he decided it might be better to leave Baekhyun alone. He’d see him tomorrow morning anyway. Maybe it was true that all he needed was some time to himself and maybe he wasn’t sure how to tell Yesung that. He might even be worried about hurting Yesung’s feelings by leaving him alone, like he was leaving him behind. That wouldn’t be too strange. Going back to his room Yesung knew he had a long and boring night ahead of him. Hopefully he’d be able to sleep at least for a little while. If not, he figured he’d have to entertain himself this time. One night alone shouldn’t be that difficult though should it?

 

By morning, Yesung had changed his mind about that completely. Being alone all night sucked. He’d barely gotten any sleep at all, and finally he had decided to go bother Donghae to see if maybe he could sleep in his room. Donghae had begrudgingly agreed at first, but when Yesung started poking him he had gotten annoyed and told him to leave. In the end Yesung had to go back to his room and once again try to sleep alone.

It hadn’t worked well, and when morning came he felt like he’d need to sleep in well past lunch if he’d have any chance of functioning like a human being. Sadly that wasn’t an option, so instead he went down to breakfast, only to meet a very tired-looking Baekhyun staring at the food with confused panda eyes. Was he even awake, Yesung thought to himself.

“Ah, good morning hyung”, Baekhyun spluttered out once he realize who was standing beside him. Pick up a plate and some toast he then quickly made a beeline for the EXO members table before Yesung had time to talk to him anymore. Something was clearly wrong.

The morning continued in a similar way. Practice had never been so difficult and Yesung could see he wasn’t the only one struggling. As he watched EXO’s preparations, Baekhyun got his butt slapped for the umpteenth time by his members as punishment for screwing up. They were all playfully laughing at his confused panda eyes as he missed the steps yet again, but Yesung couldn’t help worrying. The smiles Baehyun shot them didn’t contain that mischievous glee they used to and his eyes may be crinkling around the edges but there was no glimmer. What was going on?

At lunch Yesung had made up his mind. As the responsible and caring hyung he was, he needed to act. Baekhyun was his special dongsaeng, the one who made him happy when everything else felt like crap. Now it was his turn to try and do the same for Baekhyun.

Seeing him come out of one of the dressing rooms Yesung quickly seized his chance and walked by, grabbing Baekhyun in the process. As Baekhyun let out a surprised yelp, Yesung dragged him into an empty staff room down the corridor and closed the door, locking it in the process.

“Hey!” Baekhyun protested loudly but Yesung paid no attention.

“There!” he said triumphantly. “Now we’re all alone and no one can hear us. So now you can tell me, honestly, what’s going on? What’s bothering you?”

As Baekhyun stared at him in silence, he struggled to read his face. Yes, he was clearly unhappy. But he also seemed confused, and sad, and so very, very vulnerable all of a sudden. Yesung wasn’t used to seeing him like this, all on edge like an animal caught in the headlights of a car. He wasn’t sure what it meant. Was that fear directed towards him, or was it Baekhyun admitting defeat? Was he finally going to find out what this was all about? Clearly not, because Baekhyun was still not saying a word. Very, very unlike him. Maybe Yesung needed to ease him into it.

“I’m sorry to corner you like this, but I worry about you”, he said softly, trying to make his eyes convey all the care and concern he felt for his dongsaeng.

Reaching out his hand, he put it lightly on Baekhyun’s shoulder, stroking his upper arm encouragingly. Baekhyun made a jump backwards, nearly knocking down a pile of supplies left on a chair by the door. Spinning on his heel to secure the pile from falling, he looked skittish and nervous for a moment. Turning back to face Yesung however, his entire body seemed to be fuming with what could only be burning anger.

“What do you think you’re doing?” he hissed, his voice deep and threatening. Yesung had never seen him like this before and instinctively took a step back.

“I’m sorry”, he blurted out. “I’m just trying to help you.”

“You think this is helping me?” Baekhyun continued, now beginning to raise his voice slightly. “Pulling me into a dark room and threatening me like this?”

“Threatening you?!” Yesung spluttered, feeling smaller and smaller by the second. “I wasn’t threatening you.”

Tears began to fill his eyes. Ah, he hated this. Why was he always so sensitive? Such a crybaby. He tried to look away and not let Baekhyun notice but the way he answered him made Yesung think he must have seen something, because suddenly his voice was much softer.

“Hyung”, he said, clearly trying to calm himself. “I know you mean well. But you have to understand I’m struggling right now. I feel like I don’t even know myself anymore. Maybe it’s hard for you to get it, because you’re fearless and I’m not. I’m a coward and right now being around you hurts too much. I can’t be your friend right now. Please. If you care about me at all; if you want to help me; stay away from me!”

He said the last part with a clear emphasis and before Yesung had time to wrap his head around what he’d said, Baekhyun had unlocked the door and left the room.

The rest of practice went even worse. Yesung was still struggling to understand why Baekhyun had rejected his help, and it seemed, even his friendship. Baekhyun was even worse. He was so off his game that their practice of the duet ended with him throwing his mic away and storming off, Suho following close behind to talk some sense into him. The other members were whispering, clearly also shocked by the sudden change in Baekhyun’s personality.

“What did you do to him hyung?” Chanyeol said half joking, half serious. “I’ve never seen him throw a tantrum like that on stage before.”

If only Yesung knew. It was eating him up. What was Baekhyun struggling with, and why did being around Yesung somehow make it worse? Was Baekhyun just trying to be brave and face his problems on his own? Was he trying to protect himself, unsure of what Yesung would think if he knew what was really bothering him? Yesung wanted Baekhyun to know how he felt. He needed Baekhyun to know that no matter what it was that was bothering him, no matter how embarrassing or shameful his secret may be, Yesung would still love him just the same.

Baekhyun was that important to him. Whenever Baekhyun was around things would get instantly brighter. His smile and glistening eyes made Yesung’s whole world brighter. He couldn’t help it. And he couldn’t help trying again either. Because losing Baekhyun like this, without even trying to fix things, how would he ever be able to accept it? How would he be able to live with himself?

That’s how, once back at the hotel for their resting time before the concert, Yesung found himself outside of Baekhyun’s hotel door. Knocking the door a lot of thoughts ran through his mind. Thoughts like; how mad would Baekhyun be once he saw him; and how would he make him calm down and open up; and who paints a hotel door bright green anyway, that’s such an ugly color and wasn’t white the standard for hotel door these days?

Finally Baekhyun opened the door, and to Yesung’s surprise he didn’t even seem angry. Instead he sighed heavily and seemed to have lost all his strength just looking at him. That hurt. A lot. Yesung tried not to let it deter him though. Instead he took a deep breath and then firmly stated his business:  
“I just wanted to let you know that I’m here for you. You don’t have to suffer alone. Whatever it is I will listen and I will try to help you. Please let me help you.”

Baekhyun let out a hollow laugh that gave Yesung cold chills all over, and answered with a voice that seemed utterly miserable:   
“Can you help me forget you? Because that’s what I think I need right now. To forget that we were friends, that we ever knew each other. I tried hyung, I really tried, but it was just too much. I can’t handle it. I can’t deal. I can’t be your friend. I’m sorry, I really don’t want to hurt you, but I need you to go. Please hyung. Go! Please leave.”

Yesung turned around and felt his feet walking towards the elevator. Where he was going he wasn’t sure of. He heard Baekhyun’s door close behind him and when the elevator pinged open, he just walked inside and pushed some buttons, staring at the wall as the door closed behind him.

He had lost him. Despite everything! Despite being so careful and locking his feelings inside. He was gone. Baekhyun was gone. He probably thought that Yesung was too intense, just like his members did. He had scared him off.

Coming down to the lobby, the doors opened with a ping and Yesung was met by his hyung and leader Leeteuk as well as cheerful member Shindong. Seeing Yesung’s confused face they started laughing and put their arms around him, doors once again closing behind them.

“Did you forget which floor we’re staying on?” Leeteuk teased. “Or are you just sleepwalking?”

Yesung was still too shocked to say anything, so he just followed his members up and let them lead him to his room. Getting inside he felt his brain still failing to make sense of the situation. It was too much. So he just gave up, and soon he was fast asleep on the bed. Barely having slept was taking its toll and he drifted off without any problem, like the switch in his brain had just been turned off.

 

When he woke up hours later, it was to a surprised manager, who’d had to wake him up for the first time ever. Going downstairs and into makeup and hair and dressing; it was all going very smoothly, like he was set to autopilot. He let his body show him the way, and soon he was standing on stage with the rest of his member, singing and dancing and generally just doing his job.

It was like living in a dream, going through it step by step and doing his best because what did he have to lose. He had no reason to hold back, no reason to try and stay afloat or in control. It wasn’t real. It couldn’t be real. Baekhyun was gone. Sure, he was there, but he was gone anyway.

He didn’t want Yesung around. He had told him to leave. And it didn’t matter how much Yesung had kept his emotions in check, it didn’t matter how every time Baekhyun was near he had wanted to kiss him but had resisted the urge. His heart had been beating like crazy and Baekhyun had been so beautiful smiling, snuggling into him in his pajamas, holding him close. He had been right there, holding Yesung’s heart in his hand and Yesung had forced himself to settle for that and be grateful; to count himself lucky to get to love someone so perfect.

And now it was over. It didn’t matter that he had denied himself every opportunity to be close to him in the ways he so deeply craved for fear of losing him. In the end he had lost him anyway, and there was nothing he could do about it.

 

As he went on stage to sing their duet together and he heard Baekhyun’s voice in his earpiece it all became too real and he couldn’t help himself anymore. The tears started slowly streaming down his face and even when he wiped them away, more kept coming. The words of the breakup song rang so true, being too close to his heart for comfort. As he sang them he felt himself expressing everything he had held inside for so long and his heart screamed out for Baekhyun to hear him.

The stage kept moving and soon he was standing with Baekhyun within sight. His face must have said everything because the pain in Baekhyun’s eyes was too real and he had to close his eyes and look away. Yet again he realized the lengths he would go to, to keep Baekhyun happy and smiling. He didn’t want Baekhyun to suffer because of his inability to handle his own emotions. So he opened his eyes again and gave him a weak smile, trying to tell him that even though he was suffering now he would be fine. It seemed to connect somehow because Baekhyun smiled back despite of himself.

Seeing his dongsaeng try to comfort him in the midst of his own pain was enough to make Yesung’s heart make a full u-turn. Baekhyun obviously still cared about him or he wouldn’t be smiling like that. Seeing as he no longer had anything to lose, Yesung let that warm, fuzzy feeling fill him up and shine through, his face full of affection and love. Tears kept pouring out and Yesung was still smiling with all the love he felt. No holding back or covering it up. His face said it all.

Looking over at Baekhyun he could see the surprise in his eyes. Those eyes that made his whole heart flutter and that now were looking more and more emotional and conflicted by the second. It almost looked like Baekhyun was about to cry too.

When the song finally ended and they looked at each other properly for the first time, he saw Baekhyun make a conscious decision to be brave. He playfully leaned his forehead towards Yesung’s, letting their palms meet in front of them, and flashed him a wide smile. Yesung smiled back through his tears and soon those eyes were glimmering at him, flooding his heart with warmth and happiness and it was just too much to bear. It was like water to a heart that was parched with thirst. He felt his body rushing with newfound energy.

Playing it off in front of the fans, Baekhyun smiled at the audience and Yesung followed his lead. But the feelings were still bubbling up inside him so he grabbed both of Baekhyun’s delicate hands and, like a mad man he began to spin around happily, while Baekhyun followed his movements with sparkling eyes, smiling wide. They danced around in a circle the way little kids do, both of them laughing carelessly seemingly without a worry in the world. Yesung felt like he’d found pure joy and happiness, his heart filled with bliss and everything Baekhyun, because it was a moment they shared, just the two of them. Maybe their friendship was over, but they could still laugh together and that was all that mattered for now. In a way Yesung felt like he had never been that happy.

In front of the audience it was easy to pass it all off as a whimsical attention ploy, but when it was just the two of them that wasn’t an option anymore. Coming off stage they both kept shooting each other cautious glances, not really knowing what to say. They couldn’t really talk about it here either, so instead they tiptoed around each other with nervous smiles playing over their lips. It was like they had a secret understanding to not stress the other person out before they’d had a chance to talk it out.

The rest of the concert continued like that, both of them staying carefully optimistic, smiling and stealing shy glances at each other. When it finally ended they were both rushed into different cars and swallowed up by their members talking loudly about the concert and their experiences with the fans and on stage. No one noticed how unusually quiet they both were.

 

Coming back to the hotel, Yesung went to his room to freshen up. He’d barely gotten there though, when there was a knock on the door. He opened and was met by a nervous-looking Baekhyun, peering up at him with a hint of red coloring his face.

“So…” he said anxiously, not really seeming to know how to finish the sentence.

“Come on in”, Yesung answered, and Baekhyun looked a little relieved as he went to sit on the edge of Yesung’s bed.

There was silence for a minute, which was very unusual when they were together. They both stared at their hands, Baekhyun nervously fidgeting, as they avoided the conversation they both knew they needed to have. Then Yesung cleared his throat, seemingly realizing that he needed to be the one to start.

“I will be perfectly honest with you; I’ll tell you everything I’m thinking and feeling. I’ll hold nothing back, but I need you to be honest with me first. Yesterday, what happened? What has been going on? Have I hurt you or offended you in some way?” he said, trying to sound patient and non-threatening. Baekhyun shuffled a bit and took a deep breath, seemingly collecting his thoughts.

“I have been thinking recently”, he answered, his voice a little distant, like he was purposefully trying to be vague. “About us…you and me. And how well we get along…”

Yesung just sat there next to him on the bed, quietly, waiting for him to continue. Baekhyun’s eyes were darting back and forth again, like he was too nervous to meet Yesung’s gaze.

“I think we’ve become very important to one another”, Baekhyun continued, and this time he looked at Yesung for support. Yesung carefully nodded his approval, scared of breaking Baekhyun’s flow, and so Baekhyun kept going:   
“And I especially thought about it yesterday when we sang that song together, about treasuring a memory, how sad I’d be to lose you.”

He blushed a little again, and Yesung felt himself focus on every detail of what Baekhyun was telling him, so much that he needed to remind himself to breathe.

“And after that we napped together”, Baekhyun said, “and I woke up and realized I was holding you really tight, and I got even more aware of it. It scared me.” He was visibly flustered, staring into the wall. His face was bright red and his hands were very busy, his fingers brushing his knuckles nervously. “I think maybe we… or I… Arrghh, hyung, help me out, I suck at this stuff!” he wailed as he ran his hands through his hair erratically, clearly angry with himself for chickening out.

Seeing Baekhyun this affected and hearing his explanation, Yesung felt something in his heart change, like a door had just opened up without him noticing it even being unlocked. He had hoped Baekhyun would say something like this. Could he be saying what Yesung hoped he was? Would he dare to believe it?

Either way it didn’t matter. He had to confess. It was now or never. He had just lost Baekhyun and then gained him back, and if he was wrong he would definitely lose him again, but there was no stopping him now. The door was open and there was no closing it. Yesung was already deployed, all-in. All or nothing; that was how he lived his life and today would be no exception. But if he was going to confess he needed Baekhyun’s eyes first, and his full attention.

Yesung lifted his hand and gently put it on Baekhyun’s cheek. Baekhyun seemed to quiver in surprise at the touch but he still allowed Yesung to turn his head and soon he was staring at Yesung in wide-eyed expectation and fear. In the end maybe words were unnecessary, Yesung thought. Sitting like this and just staring at each other did things to his mind he never would have allowed before. His emotions were running all over the place, but now that was okay.

Now was the time to show Baekhyun everything, no holding back, all-in. So he leant in and slowly kissed Baekhyun’s lips, closing his eyes and letting the softness and warmth fill him up. Baekhyun sharply drew in air in surprise, but then he puckered his lips and started kissing back, putting his hand at Yesung’s waist, clenching his fist around Yesung’s shirt. His other hand went to Yesung’s neck and he pushed himself forward and opened his mouth to let Yesung’s tongue enter.

A shiver went down Yesung’s spine as Baekhyun pushed him backwards and onto his back, still kissing him passionately and sighing happily. Standing above him with one knee on either side of his waist Baekhyun pulled away for a second and smiled down at Yesung, clearly needing to catch his breath. His eyes were sparkling in a way Yesung had never seen before, true happiness seeming to fill every part of him, making him ready to explode. Tears were beginning to form in the corners of his eyes and Yesung felt the same, his heart beating fast in his chest, clearly looking for a way out of his ribcage. Baekhyun was right there and he needed to be close, now! Nothing would be allowed to get in his way.

With that thought in mind he rolled them over and once again started to kiss him, Baekhyun following along and seeming perfectly content with having his hyung sucking on his lower lip. A moan even escaped his lips and Yesung could feel himself tremble at the sight of Baekhyun enjoying himself. He let go of his lip and felt their tongues meet, Baekhyun seemingly wanting to make the kiss as deep as possible.

 Yesung wasn’t complaining and pulled Baekhyun into a tight hug, turning so they were both lying on their sides. Their passionate kissing continued, with hands roaming torsos and hair, makeup smearing and moans and sighs soon filling the room. It was like this had always been there just below the surface, and now that it was finally allowed there was no stopping it.

Just as Yesung was about to lay yet another attack on Baekhyun’s tongue, Baekhyun pulled away. He suddenly looked shy and wary, even though his eyes still glimmered with joy. He looked at Yesung through long lashes and cleared his throat. Yesung waited patiently, knowing that whatever would come next would be worth the wait. He could see it in those eyes. And he was right.

“I don’t know what you had in mind or how you feel but I just feel like I need to say this now because it’s driving me crazy and I need to get it out before it kills me, or I mean, it’s not a bad thing but I just want to say it so I will. Mmm… okay… here goes… I like you. Or well, actually, I love you. But you know I love you. But I also like you. Or like, I like you like you, and love you. I like love you, if that makes any sense. I’m talking too much aren’t I? But I love you.”

All Yesung could think was that Baekhyun was perfect. Perfectly Baekhyun. But considering how much Baekhyun was blushing he needed to intervene before he’d start rambling again. So Yesung leaned forward and kissed him, slowly and lovingly.

“I like love you too”, he said smiling, before Baekhyun leaned in again and the kissing started once more.

This time it was calmer though and more snuggly. They held on to each other and kissed lazily, now taking their time to just enjoy being close. Yesung sighed happily and Baekhyun smiled against his lips, taking a detour around his cheek to leave little sweet wet kisses all over his face. It felt so good and Yesung knew it would only get better.

Baekhyun continued down to kiss his neck and Yesung groaned loudly, feeling Baekhyun shiver against his skin. Then Baekhyun’s face came into view again, now leaning on his elbows above Yesung. He looked a little weary again and Yesung sensed another rant coming, but instead all he got was four carefully chosen words: “Do you want to?”

“Do I want to what?” Yesung answered, now feeling confused and slightly worried by Baekhyun being so quiet.

“Hyung!” Baekhyun said, now looking a little annoyed that Yesung clearly didn’t get it. “Are you going to make me say it? Really? Are you really the hyung here? Are you that innocent?” He poked Yesung’s side, teasingly tickling him. “Or are you getting some sick kick out of making me say it? Are you kinky, hyung?”

Finally Yesung got what he meant, and yes he wanted to. But if he was the hyung he should probably act like one.

“You sure you want to?” he said looking seriously into Baekhyun’s eyes. “We could wait.”

Baekhyun’s teasing face disappeared instantly. “I want to. If I didn’t I wouldn’t have asked, now would I”, he said firmly. “The only question is, do you want to?”

“Yes! Yes of course”, Yesung said.

“Good!” Baekhyun smiled and then he was kissing him again and they were moving higher up into the bed. Clothes were carefully removed and Yesung got some supplies from his bag. He was going to take it slow. For Baekhyun he’d do anything to make it good. As he looked into Baekhyun’s nervous but hopeful eyes he knew that it was true. Baekhyun would get the best night of his life no matter what. This was about more than just sex, it was about closeness and feelings and his love for Baekhyun. He thought about the anger and pain Baekhyun had showed him earlier that day. He must have been suffering so much. Now it was time for Yesung to put it all right.

“Are you ready for this?”

“Yes”

 

“This way!” Baekhyun giggled and ran around the corner to his right. Behind him Yesung heard the angry clatter of Leeteuk getting out of bed only to find his feet tied to a whole kitchen’s worth of pots and pans. Turning the corner quickly, he could hear Leeteuk’s angrily wheezing:   
“Yesung, I know you’re out there. I’ll get you for this, I’ll…”

Yesung didn’t stop to find out the rest of Leeteuk’s plans for revenge. Instead he rushed down the hallway, laughing at Baekhyun’s frantic clicking of the elevator buttons. Finally one of the doors opened and they both jumped in, Baekhyun pressing the button that led to the roof. Collapsing on the floor, gasping and laughing together, Yesung noticed how Baekhyun’s eyes were sparkling. He leant over and kissed him, Baekhyun smiling against his lips before returning the kiss. No matter what kind of evil revenge Leeteuk had concocted for him tomorrow, Yesung knew for sure it’d been worth it. Baekhyun’s sparkling eyes told him it would always be worth it.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry about the lack of smut, but I got stuck on it too long so in the end I just decided to cut it out. It didn't feel like the point of the story anyway.  
> Hope you enjoyed reading this, and if you did, feel free to comment. It makes me very happy when you do! ^_^


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